i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
