every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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