I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
