Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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