yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
