he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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