Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
