I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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