Got a toothbrush?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
