his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
