But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Floor bacon is actually really good
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
