I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
