): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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