so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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