Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
