I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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