Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
