Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize