I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
