just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
