I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
