You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
