put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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