Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
