i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
