Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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