i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
