I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
