I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
