Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
