im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
