um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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