I just saw a hot homeless man
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
