We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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