Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
