It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
