Christians are straight up FREAKS
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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