who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
