you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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