Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
