i was rollin on her like bob the builder
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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