Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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