I think I just saw someone hide a body.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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