But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Dear god my vagina.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
