no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
