You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
