party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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