It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
