I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
