So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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