i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
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